Nip Impressions logo
Sun, May 31, 2020 14:52
Click here for Pulp & Paper Radio International
Subscription Central
Must reads for pulp and paper industry professionals
My Profile
Management Side
Week of 5 August 2019: Pulp Rats for 2019--first week

Email Jim at

Listen to this column in your favorite format

iTunes or MP3

Special Note: The Pulp Rats series started the week of 27 Jul 2015. It has proved immensely popular. Last year, after the August Corruption Month, or Pulp Rats, series was complete, we compiled the first four years into a book form. It is available on Just put "Pulp Rats" in the Amazon search bar to find and order a copy for yourself. From here on out, Fos the Rat will be writing for the month of August, just like he has for the last four years, while I take a break. Disclaimer: Any resemblances here to real people, places, institutions or events are purely coincidental. This is somewhat a work of fiction.


I decided to not go to the convention this year. I am getting older and the trip is becoming more of a burden than in years gone by. Anyway, there seems to be enough problems around here, at my home mill and the ones within just a few twinkles, to make my head explode. Plenty of material to tell to you Big Things.

Not so long ago, I was in the place the Big Things call the Administration Building. I heard there was going to be some important Big Things from far away showing up to see some, as they like to call it, presentations. When I hear about these, I like to go, for they bring in delicious things to eat that are not normally found at our mill. Enough falls off the table to feed all the rats on the property. In this particular case we had to call in rats from the surrounding fields.

Several of us had gotten there early on this particular day. We wanted to be in a good place when the eats fell off the table. We were hiding behind a tall cylinder where they put the waste food. This is a good place to be, for some of the Big Things are sloppy and dump it right on the floor in front of us.

We were quietly behind one of these cylinders when the Big Things came into the room.

"How was your trip Dr. Wisdom?" one of the local Big Things asked another as they came into the room.

"Just fine, considering I had to fly commercial," was the reply.

*** has hundreds of registrants! [03.01.19]


There was some small talk as other Big Things came in the room. All the Big Things in the room at this time seemed to be older, not as bright, fresh and crisp as other Big Things are.

We did not have long to wait, though, as younger Big Things joined those in the room.

A local senior Big Thing (one I saw regularly in the mill), brought the room to attention as all the Big Things sat down. Addressing Dr. Wisdom, the Big Thing said, "We have some projects to go over with you. But before we do, we thought we would have Bill Nomore give a little presentation. He went to the same graduate school you attended."

Bill Nomore nervously came to the front of the room. He was young for a Big Thing. Dr. Wisdom said, "Well, we both went to a great school. What did you learn there?"

Nomore brightly said, "Dr. Wisdom, your reputation is known far and wide, so I decided to take your dissertation and review it, seeing if there was in any novel work yet to be expanded on from it."

Dr. Wisdom puffed up and smiled, "Glad to see you found a solid piece of work for a foundation."

"Well, that is not exactly the way it turned out," Nomore began. "As I looked at your calculations for pulp density, I think you missed a potential phase change that could occur in most cases, given the conditions you described. Essentially, under the conditions you laid out, you were boiling some of the water out of the slurry. I confirmed this by duplicating your conditions in the lab. Don't worry though, I went back to the basics and it all works out now. Except the savings you were projecting with your method were reduced by half."

Dr. Wisdom glowered at Bill Nomore. He stood up, motioned to the leader of the meeting, and they left the room. They were gone a long time. Everyone was sitting, looking around and nervously talking. After a while, the leader came to the door and motioned to Bill Nomore. Bill got up and left the room. He never came back. We literally saw Bill "Nomore."

Later, we heard Dr. Wisdom ordered the mill to fire him. For that day the meeting was over. Lots of food was left. I sent the younger rats to tell all the others in the mill and local fields that we had a feast. We ate the rest of the day and into the night.

___________________ has taken off like a rocket! Over fifty jobs are posted, in many interesting categories. These jobs are in at least 15 different US states. [06.19.19]


Employers are on board with There are nearly forty employers located in fifteen different US states and six other countries. [06.19.19]


Other interesting stories:

Printer-friendly format


Powered by Bondware
News Publishing Software

The browser you are using is outdated!

You may not be getting all you can out of your browsing experience
and may be open to security risks!

Consider upgrading to the latest version of your browser or choose on below: