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Every August, we focus on corruption we have seen or heard about in the industry in the past year. As usual, these stories will be told by Fos, a pulp rat. It is my privilege to put Fos's stories in print for you.
Disclaimer: Any resemblances here to real people, places, institutions or events are purely coincidental. This is somewhat a work of fiction.
Chapter 12 of "Pulp Rats...an unpleasant story"
The conference this year was held on big waters way to the west and north. Countless numbers of quivers to get there. I couldn't even count the twinkles it took to get there...it was more than all the toes I have. Attendance was not quite as good as it had been in the past due to the distance most rats had to travel from their own mills. However, in the scratchings we had received, the Great Mother has promised an interesting and informative conference, so I decided to make the trip.
One of the advantages of having the conference in this location is that we were able to meet some new rats from farther north and west who often did not attend the southern conferences. Sadly, the stories they told were similar to the ones we heard in our own territory.
The Great Mother called the conference to order.
"I want to welcome all of you to our conference this year," she said. "First, I want to recognize the old faces I have seen before and thank you for making the trip. Second, let's all give a welcome to our friends from the north who have not been able to attend before!"
Save the date! The Pulp and Paper Industry Reliability and Maintenance conference, sponsored by IDCON and Andritz, will be held March 19-22, 2018 in Raleigh, North Carolina.
The Great Mother continued, "Please remember these sessions are being recorded, in fact--nodding to her right-- you will note we have increased the number of chewers again (Mr. Jim note: you call them "clerks") to three paws worth."
She concluded with, "All right, who is our first witness?"
Bun sauntered up to the witness stand. He was a big rat, well fed and very confident of himself.
"Well, I am glad to be here, eh?" Bun began.
The Great Mother said, "Where are you from, son?"
"Why, from up north, eh?"
"I could have guessed. What is your story?"
"Well," Bun continued, "Up in our country, a great deal of effort is spent keeping track of the timber and how it is cared for, harvested and so forth, eh?"
"Who does this?" asked the Great Mother.
"Various entities. The government, freelance environmental agencies, and groups of Big Things that have been here even longer than we have, eh?"
"OK, what is the problem?"
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"Turns out these entities are all composed of Big Things, just like Big Things that operate pulp and paper mills, eh?"
"Well, they are subject to corruption, too. The pulp and paper Big Things sometimes give the Big Things in these entities money in order to modify the scratchings...you know, how many trees are cut, where they go, how many trees are replanted, eh?"
"So, the numbers are not always honest, eh?" said the Great Mother. She quickly followed with, "Darn, you have got me saying it now, too."
"Saying what, eh? Bun replied.
"EH! You snow covered imbecile!"
The Great Mother regained her composure. "Chewers, make several copies of this testimony. I want to make sure we send a copy to our friends to the north."
If you have a corruption story, please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Or if you prefer and are more comfortable with my classic email address, email@example.com, feel free to use it. Your story will be kept in strictest confidence.
Jim Thompson is back again...with a new book on a taboo subject: the personalities in the pulp & paper industry. Jim has written in the past on many subjects based on his four plus decades in the worldwide pulp and paper industry. This new book is packed full of information valuable to the senior member of the industry as well as the recent entrant. A must for every pulp and paper library.
Nip Impressions has been honored for Editorial Excellence by winning a Tabbie Award!
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