In my column last week, we asked, "When you encounter someone treating you rudely as the person treated me in this week's column, what do you do?"
Here are the responses:
>I try to empathize and connect on some level. "It may be difficult to hear this feedback." If that does not work I try to just walk away. I have to admit to giving in to the temptation to be sarcastic with people as in recently when there was a set of parents exhibiting this kind of behavior at a sporting event.
>Stay calm and confront them with facts, then move away from the situation.
>Ignore him Call his boss if he exists Avoid any debate. As the old Scots saying "Ye cannae argue with an igit"
>Cold Cock him!!!
>Remain calm, cool and collective until I am threatened. Then kick him in the nts.
>Jim: I learned the hard way what I call the two arse hole rule. "A situation will get out of hand if both parties are arse holes." I'm not always successful but it is now rare, and my vocabulary is much more limited. Once my wife and I were having coffee at a side walk cafe in town. A rough in a pick up truck was yelling and tooting at people using the cross walk. I called out to him to keep it quiet. He leant out of the truck and yelled out "Shut the fuck up old man" I was still in my fifties so we had a good loud laugh.
>It depends on the person and my relationship to them. Unfortunately is I know them well I am more likely to respond in kind. If I don't I can be more self-controlled and talk calmly to them. If that doesn't work I try to leave.
>Walk away. Threatened.....call 911.
>Stay calm and try to behave rationally.
We then asked, "Have you ever behaved in the manner described in the column this week?"
22.2 percent responded "Sometimes," 33.3 percent said "Seldom," and 44.4 percent answered "Never." No one answered "Very often" or "Often."
Finally, we asked, "If your answer to the last question was anything but "never" what have you done about it?"
Responses:
>I am guilty of trying to convince my wife why she should feel differently about one thing or another, especially when she is critical of me. I am working on internalizing feedback and improving me without the emotion. This has resulted in more positive relationships at home and work.
>Went to sensitivity training - sent by my employer. One of the most valuable learning weeks in my life.
>Cool down time and things are usually OK after some time passes.
>I have learned to control my temper as I have gotten older and it is not the problem that it used to be. So what I have done is matured.
>It's always complicated and the things are not black & white. I must admit that I can be annoying to quite many people, without realizing myself that they have gone over the limit. I suppose quite many think that I'm arrogant and make them feel a bit stupid. I don't have any good proposal how to change my own behaviour.
|
